An Unhealed Man is a Dangerous Man
How an Old Testament King Tells the Tale
I’m teaching through Judges in our Men’s Bible Study this semester. This week’s newsletter is part of an insight and encouragement from chapters 9-10. Judges is not a cheery book. It is a cyclical narrative of how God’s people ignore his provision and increasingly turn their backs on Him. It is a tale of depravity and a mirror to the human heart apart from the grace of God. Even so, there is much to mine in the text, and this story has stuck with me for the last few weeks.
Our stories make sense of our actions. They don’t excuse our choices but shed light on our motivations. Looking upstream to where we’ve been helps us understand where we end up. We can change our trajectory if we learn our story and work to reinterpret / repair / heal what’s needed. If we ignore our pain, it will come out sideways in our lives and those around us. The life of an Old Testament king shows the danger of an unhealed man. His name is Abimelech.
Abimalech’s father was Gideon, a mighty man of valor from the tribe of Manasseh, who freed Israel from the Midianites (Judges 7). The people of Israel tried to make Gideon their king, but he refused, saying to them, “I will not rule over you, and my son will not rule over you; the LORD will rule over you.” (Judges 8:23 ESV) Gideon’s right response was followed by failure, as he led the people astray through idol worship.
Gideon had 70 sons from his wives, and through a concubine, he had one more: Abimelech, whose name means, “My father is the king.”
Some scholars talk about how the father in Abimelech’s name is his divine father, the true King of Israel that Gideon deferred to when offered the throne.1 Others call Gideon’s deference a “veiled acceptance” of kingship, giving honor to God as the rightful ruler and then personally enjoying the power and trappings of the monarchy.2
I think about Abimelech, who grew up with 70 step-brothers who were all princes in the house of Gideon.
How often did that nine-year-old mutter to himself:
My Father is the King—but I am a bastard son.
My name and my reality do not match.
They are princes; I am not. I will never be a king like my father was.
The text skips over Abimelech’s youth, but it does say the people of Israel did not remember Gideon's good toward them and did not honor his house. We find Abimelech grown, having moved to his mother’s town.
I keep thinking about the boy whose father is Kking, whose brothers are ahead of him, and how badly he may have wanted to be seen and validated as more than a bastard.
He needs something, and his story is driving him to action.
Abimelech puts his plan in motion with the rulers of the town:
[2] “Say in the ears of all the leaders of Shechem, ‘Which is better for you, that all seventy of the sons of Jerubbaal rule over you, or that one rule over you?’ Remember also that I am your bone and your flesh.” Judges 9:2 (ESV)
These pagan rulers like the idea of the one they know over the 70 they don’t, so they take money from the temple to fund Abimelech’s plan.
Then, the mercenaries are hired. The text calls them worthless and reckless men.
Driven by need and hunger food can’t touch, Abimelech hires one man after another. Imagine his recruitment pitch, his bargaining, the promise of gold at the price of blood.
The gang travels to the brother’s town, and Abimelech murders 69 of his brothers on a single stone.
The detail makes a difference.
The worthless and reckless men might have corralled the brothers, but they were killed one by one. The text puts the knife in Abimelech’s hand. This is a premeditated, cold-blooded, prolonged event.
It’s not a fight to the death, a struggle for survival. It’s murder on a grand scale.
I wonder what this did to Abimelech inside: hardness of heart, seared conscience, repeated affirmation that this is what they deserve because he deserves to be King. This violence is what it takes for him to get there.
The tired gang returns to Shechem, and the leaders crown Abimelech as King. The deed is done.
The youngest brother escapes the terror: Jotham. 1 out of 70 survives.
Jotham climbs a nearby hill and shouts, indicting the leaders for what they’ve done - for the deceit and dishonor against God’s provision in Gideon, for indulging a grown man who hasn’t dealt with the boy inside. A curse is declared, letting the leaders know that they and Abimelech deserve each other, and the Lord will cause them to devour each other.
Abimelech rules for three years, and then Jotham’s curse comes to fruition - The Lord moves against Abimelech and the leaders of Shechem. This time, conspiracy flows from the leaders toward the king, and Abimelech retaliates by burning the leaders down. He tries to solidify his rule through vengeance, burning a second tower full of men, women, and children—but is stopped short when a woman drops a millstone on his head.
The king retained consciousness long enough to command his attendant, his armor-bearer, to stab him with his sword to spare him an ignominious death at the hands of a woman. More disgraceful than being killed by an uncircumcised Philistine, to be slain by a woman struck at the heart of his manly pride. To the end, Abimelech remained belligerent, defiant, arrogant.3
Abimelech got what he wanted; I wonder when he realized it wasn’t enough to be whole. He became King at a significant cost to himself, for who can strive that hard and not cut off pieces of themself, detach from parts of their heart along the way? He did terrible things, and who he became in the doing was awful, too.
Then, in trying to keep what he had gained, he was killed by the people he supposedly ruled. What defined success is what cost life itself.
Abimelech’s story doesn’t change the nature of his sin, but it perhaps gives context for a boy with wrong interpretations who became a man driven by faulty conclusions. It speaks of a man longing to be seen and fighting for worth. Of searching for identity.
In Christ, you and I don’t have to bear the weight of our identity. We can be set right and live in union with God. We can have our identity, purpose, and place of belonging aligned with God’s good design.
The text makes it clear that Abimelech’s internal narrative shaped his life. Your internal narrative tells a story, too.
Being given to inaction or over-functioning are both means of controlling your circumstances to get or protect something you think you need. Unhealed hurts will have you looking for validation, need, and comfort to try and soothe some part of you.
The way forward is to pay attention, watch, and surrender all the ways you try to move toward security outside Christ. This can be habits, addictions, or patterns that are all ways you’ve quieted/soothed pain and hurt.
Next time you find yourself feeling driven to get something - to console yourself or control your circumstances— notice how you can numb through overwork, porn, alcohol, drugs, sex, social media, or shopping for a new toy. Notice the impulse and stay still. Then move toward the Lord in prayer, maybe text a brother for help, and learn to rewire that part of your brain, one step at a time.
The space between stimulus and response is the space to do work. It’s where you get to choose. Why do I want this destructive action? What activated a fear, wound, or emotion in me? Is what I have habitually chosen what I want to choose now?
In that space, if your hope is in Christ, you can rest in the security that Christ has you. He is for you, and you are not alone. Slow down.
The pattern of Abimelech’s life irreparably disintegrated both sides of his family.
How is the pattern of your life influencing those in your home, those you love? Who is now out of your home, still shaped by your choices?
I serve as an Elder at our church. I think the scriptural qualifications for the offices of Elder and Deacon are things for all men to aspire to.4 When brothers ask, “What should I shoot for?” Paul has answered. They are pictures of fidelity to Christ - a pursuit we are all after. I’m not holding the office up as perfection, but there is something in saying that this man's public witness and testimony points to the work of the Spirit in a consistent pattern.
We can know there are habits, pet sins, attitudes, and addictions we need to take care of, but we say we’ll do it ourselves or we wait for the right time. And as we wait - we are becoming something - someone.
There are wives who need us to deal with our stories. There are children who need fathers driven by godly ambition, not wounds of their past. No matter what season of life you are in, I’ve said before - the stakes are high. You matter.
Don’t delay the work you need to do.
Thanks for Reading
If someone forwarded this to you, I write two types of emails: one on select Tuesdays about life with God and the other every Friday, where I share things I’ve found during the week. If you want to subscribe but can’t afford it, email me, and I’ll take care of it—no questions asked.
I pastor, teach, and lead at The Village Church, serving as an Elder and the Executive Director of Discipleship. In my spare time (ha!), I’m working on a Ph.D. in Church History, studying Jonathan Edwards and character formation. Also, I’ve written A Short Guide to Spiritual Disciplines: How to Become a Healthy Christian.
Thank you for reading and supporting my work as I seek to shepherd with compassion and wisdom, equipping people to embody God's truth for all of life.
Talk soon,
MK
“Abimelech has craved desperately to prove himself a worthy successor to his father by living up to one interpretation of his name (“The king [Gideon] is my father”), only to experience the original intention of the name (“The king [divine] is my father”).
Neither human pretension (8:22–32) nor human ferocity (9:1–55) could dislodge Yahweh from his throne. In the end Abimelech’s egomaniacal ambition must yield to the kingship of God, and with this the story of Gideon is complete.
Daniel Isaac Block, Judges, Ruth, vol. 6, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1999), 334.
“Was Gideon’s refusal only apparent? Perhaps it was a veiled acceptance of kingship?3 If so, Gideon is not so much rejecting kingly rule in itself as underscoring the form it must take (not really I—or my descendants—but Yahweh must rule). The context, after all, does contain some evidence of royal status: Gideon’s role as religious innovator (vv. 24–27), his keeping a sizable harem (v. 30), dubbing his concubine’s son ‘My father is king’ (Abimelech, v. 31),4 and Abimelech’s propaganda that rule would surely pass to or continue in Gideon’s family (9:1–5). I lean toward this latter view, though I prefer to call it a qualified, rather than a veiled, acceptance.”5
Dale Ralph Davis, Judges: Such a Great Salvation, Focus on the Bible Commentary (Ross-shire, Great Britain: Christian Focus Publications, 2000), 112.
Still looking for the reference on this one. The italics are from my studies!
1 Timothy 3:1–13
Qualifications for Overseers
[1] The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. [2] Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, [3] not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. [4] He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, [5] for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? [6] He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. [7] Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.
Qualifications for Deacons
[8] Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. [9] They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. [10] And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. [11] Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. [12] Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. [13] For those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus. (ESV)
Jephthah was a bastard son too, similar story.